Marriage is risky, remarriage even more so because it is vastly different. It is of supreme importance to invest time, energy and money into one of the most significant decisions of one's life. Acquire the skills needed to assure your success.
Preparation starts with self-discovery; identifying your “non-negotiables” (values, beliefs, and practical items) that are crucial. These usually don't get talked about when courting and will determine the viability of a relationship (whether to dump or develop it). Learn how to skillfully uncover the “non-negotiables” of your partner. Time…space…money…maintenance…sex….and spirituality.
Another crucial part of preparation is learning the territory of a stepfamily – whether born of divorce or death. Bringing together previous relationships, children, ex-spouses, finances, and possessions is no easy task. How to determine a plan for the future is addressed.
This process will develop trust and intimacy. Ten (10) areas of intimacy development are overviewed: spiritual, recreational, intellectual, work, aesthetic, emotional, financial, conflict, crisis, and sexual. Also, in what order they develop and how this building true intimacy can be sabotaged.
Preparation is most effective when it begins prior to a committed relationship, however, regardless of what stage your relationship is in, tackling these issues is always valuable. |